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Limiting Conditions and Assumptions Appraiser Humor

  • The person or persons writing this assumes that they have no idea who they are, why they wrote it, and what it means.
  • The person or persons writing this is only liable for the amount of their fee for writing this.
  • The person or persons writing this has no idea about anything structural and, further, can’t even make sawdust.
  • The person or persons writing this assumes no responsibility for anything environmental and, in fact, the person writing this has never driven a car.
  • The person or persons writing this assumes no responsibility for anything legal in character, and swears that they never inhaled, or does the writer render any opinion as to title, which is assumed to be marketable. All existing liens, encumbrances, assessments and any other money owed by the writer have been disregarded, and the text is written as though free and clear, even though the writer knows better.
  • Unless you told the writer, it is assumed that there is nothing wrong with this writing, or whether the writing encroaches on any other writings.
  • Any exhibits used by the writer are included to assist the reader in visualizing the idea of what is written, but the writer is not an artist and assumes no responsibility in connection with such artsy craftsy stuff.
  • The writer may not be required to give testimony or to appear in court by reason of this writing, or at least until the writer is released from jail.
  • The writer has no present or contemplated future interest in this writing, unless it means the writer can make money.
  • The writer assumes that all the information written in this writing is from reliable sources, and it is assumed that the information is information and not misinformation.

Previously published in the January 2000 issue if the ASA Newsline, published by the American Society of Appraisers. Written by Deane Wilson, ASA and reprinted with his permission. If you ever get a chance to hear Deane Wilson speak, do it. He is one of the most humorous and “out there” appraisal presenters I have ever heard!

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